We would like to say thank you for the Queen’s life of service. Our hearts go out to the family, whether a royalist or not, she was a mum, grandma, and great grandma. Her family has our well wishes. – BCIC

Today the nation mourns the loss of our Queen. Whether you are a royalist or not with a nation in a period of national mourning, grief surrounds us. Over the next few days you might notice signs of grief, it can be confusing, especially if you feel no direct connection with those who have died.

Take your time with it, remember you do not need to read every news article or every post about how others are feeling. This is about how you are feeling.

Grief is an Emotion

Grief tells us something has gone, it reminds us that it was something of importance to us. Like any emotion, it’s not positive or negative, but it deals with a negative situation. Grief feels different from sadness although sadness can be part of it. Grief is not quick work, it can take longer than we think to work through it.

Grief is individual

Although grief can look similar in people, it is an individual experience. In times of mass or national mourning, we can feel like our grief has to look a certain way. Grief is not a formula, it is a feeling and it can include longing, empathy, preoccupation, pain, guilt, anger, bitterness, and more. Your experience is yours, and however you feel is valid, but it is important to share how you feel with others.

Grief is confusing

Grief can sneak up on you, it can be triggered by the oddest of things. National mourning especially can lead us to think about others who we have lost and it feels like we are mourning them again. It comes and goes, some days it feels like a normal day, with laughter and smiles; other times it overwhelms us. Grief is confusing but it is also normal and it’s important to talk about it.

“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.”

JRR TOLKIEN The Return of the King LOTR

Grief is releasing

It is important that if you feel grief, you allow it space and time. They say the way out of grief is through it and I (Lou) can testify to that being true, as can many others. Grief allows the pain to be released, the person to be remembered, honoured, and their importance to us to be enveloped and encapsulated in our lives as we move forward.

Grief is to be shared

Cultures who grieve together find support in the community, yet grief often makes us want to isolate ourselves. It can be overwhelming and all-encompassing, but isolation is usually unhelpful.

If you are part of our college, youth work, or businesses, our staff are here to support you and talk through it with you.

If you are struggling with your emotions and thoughts please reach out to talk. Some of the best people you can talk to are:

If you have seriously harmed yourself or you feel that you may be about to harm yourself, call 999 for an ambulance or go straight to A&E.

If children and young people are upset, Minded is a source of information to support children and young people to manage death and loss.

You can also visit the Palace’s website for more information about the mourning period:

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